In order to be effective, you need to be honest with yourself and filter out the men who will waste your time - even when you are tempted by your emotions, pride or biology to do otherwise.
Last night, as a 33-year-old single woman living in the ginormous city of Jakarta, I found myself talking about dating and relationships with my girlfriends probably for the 10th time this week. Since moving here from San Francisco three years ago, I've been as single as I was back in San Francisco circa 2013 or bumble-eff-nowhere Waterloo circa 2010.
I met Caitlin through my Brazen Careerist co-founder, Ryan Paugh. Rudder parses OKCupid data to find that, women are most desirable to men when women are in their 20s, and men are least desirable to women when they are in their 20s.
Caitlin wrote a thoughtful post about turning 30, which reminded me that I have a lot to say about turning 30. This is not some sexist social artifact—this is just how the world works and you cannot change it by forcing a generation of girls to play soccer. Men will change careers, eventually have health problems, make parenting promises they won't keep—it's astounding how much marriage turns out to be a bait-and-switch.
What this means for the turning-30 crowd is that men feel great and women feel trepidation. I know it is not scientifically proven, but most women will tell you that even if you thought you didn't want kids, if you are ever going to change your mind, it'll be when you turn 30. And don't tell me it's society, because the Baby Boomer moms of Gen Xers were vehement that there is no rush to have kids, and thirty year old daughters should focus on careers, and still, Gen Xers felt the crush of the clock at age 30. If you can't change yourself, get a reality check. When asked why, women report that their self-confidence and self-knowledge is at an all-time high.
It is logical that you would panic about your clock because your clock is about to explode. The problem is that while women in their 40s are great in bed, they are increasingly unhappy in life.
That sounds like a difficult-and-guarantee-you'll-fail job for anyone to handle.At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex.[This is the third of a three-part series that describes how to focus your dating efforts in your teens, twenties and thirties.Have you looked at data for mothers who are over 35? Women in their 40s report the most anxiety, sleeplessness, and pressure than any other demographic, and women, after 40, grow more and more unhappy as time goes on. Find me a group of 30-year-old men and I’ll pick out one overgrown frat dude living with roommates, another guy who just dropped his two kids off at school, a few who are well into their careers and a couple soul-searchers looking for work.